On Presidential and Staff Comportment

When I’m President, I will comport myself with the utmost respectability and only hire individuals who I’m reasonably sure will hold themselves to the same high standards.

  1. I will avoid public vulgarities,
  2. No one in my administration will discuss S-ing their own gosh-darned wing-wong, though I defend their right to peruse this safe-sex practice in private,
  3. I will not flippin’ tolerate my staff blocking each other’s ‘s wing-wongs, due to that being a bunch of distracting, morale-destroying horse-pucky,
  4. Absolutely no one will endorse grabbing a hoo-hoo without express permission from the hoo-hoo holder.
  5. I will not be a dillweed to the American people,
  6. I will engage in no banana shenanigans or malarky.

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