When I’m President, I will comport myself with the utmost respectability and only hire individuals who I’m reasonably sure will hold themselves to the same high standards.
- I will avoid public vulgarities,
- No one in my administration will discuss S-ing their own gosh-darned wing-wong, though I defend their right to peruse this safe-sex practice in private,
- I will not flippin’ tolerate my staff blocking each other’s ‘s wing-wongs, due to that being a bunch of distracting, morale-destroying horse-pucky,
- Absolutely no one will endorse grabbing a hoo-hoo without express permission from the hoo-hoo holder.
- I will not be a dillweed to the American people,
- I will engage in no banana shenanigans or malarky.