On Being a Public Servant

When I’m President, I will be a leader and a public servant, not a brand. Because really, the only brand that matters is Heinz. Heinz Ketchup is the only ketchup worth eating. In fact, it is the only perfect food in the world – pretty sure that’s been proven by science! Let’s be honest, I can’t top that. I will serve the American people. I will serve them ketchup.

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